That will upstage the play!

will catch it, lol?? Thanx!

And, uh, Elizabeth, was just kidding about the controlling stage mom. Images of Mommie Dearest kept swirling around my head as I composed that, and Briggs can't become a truly great actor without a certain degree of angst and turmoil in his pre-fame life. At least I didn't mention anything about him eating coat hangers or being a booze swilling bitch-aholic (or whatever one calls a male bulldog womanizer).

applauding madly...and tossing rose petals...
your a hoot of the grandest demensions...ce

"A raging bull of both stage and film, capable of close encounters of the fourth kind (watch your leg), the Briggster is the crown jewel of the Academy of Farts and Sciences -- even if his controlling stage mother cut off his jewels and nearly relegated him to straight to video roles as transgendered hot dog vendors forming confederacies with dunces."

I knew you could do it. I can picture him now taking a bow.

"Sir Briggs Olivier de Niro is a classically trained thespian of uncommon dimensions. Known for his auspicious range and regal carriage (translation: he can fart over long distances), Lord Briggs has the remarkable capacity to project across the most challenging of mediums (i.e., duck if he starts to hurl). Gywnenth, Julia, Jennifer (Connelly, not the 'Lo), and Miss Piggy can also attest to Briggsy's unrivaled capacity to inhabit roles as diverse as romantic leads, the finest character parts, and indelible action heroes who can ascend unusual heights (i.e., he can hump long legged old ladies without the use of a step ladder). But Sir Briggs is not merely a thespian with a bodacious stage presence and aromatic aura (don't feed him Jif before the curtain rises), he is a remarkable blend of the very essence of Shakespearean profundity coupled with oratorical skills that will shatter the expectations of the most dubious audiences (i.e., the boy has a tongue big enough to lick Mississippi)."

Uh, you better spell check this.

Not good with words sorry.Maybe Gary can help