"Bend It Like Beckham" is a very charming independent film that will probably become this year's "word of mouth" champion, much like "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" was last year. It is a very good movie (though not quite a Greek Wedding). It's basically about a clash of cultures, as the parents of a family from India try to prevent their teenage daughter from becoming too Anglo. The daughter is crazy about soccer and it's premier star in England, David Beckham (who is married to one of the Spice Girls and is himself sort of like the Michael Jordan of England, tho obviously in a different sport). Her parents are traditionalists who believe girls should get married, get pregnant, and not do much else in life. They forbid her play soccer, but she continues to do on the sly. And of course she starts for fall for her Irish coach, which further alarms her family.

Don't want to give away too much more of the plot. But it is a very funny movie. And whatever you do, don't get up as soon as the movie is over. There are some hilarious out takes to come. Boo gives this one a solid 4 jars of creamy Jif!

Now for the offal news, pun intended. Boo is not too familiar with the heavy metal rocker named Rob Zombie, who is the writer and director of "House of 1000 Corpses." According to recent media coverage, this was a controversial movie to release. MGM originally backed the movie, but when their execs saw the finished product, they were appalled and sold the rights to Universal. Dumb ass Zombie then shot himself in the foot by making a smart aleck remark in an interview that Universal must be "immoral" for buying the rights since some of the MGM execs (or others) described the movie with that term. So MGM quickly turned around and dumped the movie also, and it ultimately ended up with some smaller company.

Why, you may ask? This is one sick movie. If you go in like some, expecting a good horror movie with nice scares, you may get a bit of that, but mostly a bunch of stomach churning scenes of ghoulish torture and sadistic dismemberment. This movie makes Texas Chainsaw Massacre look like Shakespeare In Love.

The basic plot is this: two couples are on a road trip looking for off the beaten path rural attractions.
They stumble upon a roadside museum with one ride that takes them through a sort of serial murderer's version of Disney's Hall of Presidents. One of the tales told on the ride is of the legendary Dr. Satan, a mad doctor who cut his patients into little pieces. After the ride is over, they ask to see the location of the grave where Dr. Satan was buried. On the way to the grave, someone shoots out their tire (the dummies think it's a blow out). They end up stranded at a nearby rural farmhouse that makes Norman Bates' mama's house look like a charming cottage. The family who live in the decrepit mansion are total whackos who love to torture, slice up, and murder anyone who stumbles upon their O Negative abode. From that point forward, the movie is a homage in a Ginsu chop chop fashion. One torture and dismemberment scene after another. Dead bodies strung up all the place. The father of one of the girls comes looking for her, only to have his face cut off and used as a mask by one of the whackos. The movie ends with one of the girls and one of the guys being buried alive in Dr. Satan's grave. Not sure about that final segment of the movie, but it kinda suggests that the grave is a portal to hell, and Dr. Satan's ghost or whatever is still up to no good in his hell hole.

This movie is real trash. Not the kind of lovable garb-bage that occasionally pops up at the movies, just really sick stuff. The only part of the movie that is somewhat interesting is the character of Dr. Spaulding, who runs the roadside museum. He wears ghoulish clown makeup and has a demented humor that succeeds in grabbing your attention. That particular role had potential, but was tossed aside early in the movie.

Boo gives this movie five jars of rat posion.