Bulldogs World

Uh-oh, it's time for the re-posting of my "Fractured Fairytale", "The Thanksgiving Bell". I hear that some Native Americans are discounting the original Pilgrim Thanksgiving story. Well luckily, I'm here to straighten things out for you. Please read and enjoy!

Bill's been in the rum a little early this holiday. What is he talking about; a child ringing a Thanksgiving Bell? We've never heard of that tradition. Well, maybe some of you remember it from a few years ago. I wanted to clear the air on exactly what this is about, so more people will understand this grand tradition handed down from the first Pilgrims!!

Since many of you asked, here's the story of

"The Thanksgiving Bell"


Once upon a time, when the Pilgrims first came to this country on the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria (Those were the sister-ships of the Mayflower), they needed shelter in order to survive the harsh winter and the ferocious flocks of wild turkeys they encountered upon landing (they were considered man-eaters by the Native Americans back then. They actually would attack humans and devour them.) The Native Americans used to worship the great wild turkey god known as the Everlasting Gobblestopper. But, alas, I digress; back to the bell. The Pilgrims took the wooden planks from their ships and constructed small shelters in a circle, with the largest being located in the center and acting as the dining facility and social hall. As it turns out, they had just enough wood to complete their humble abodes and the only remaining item that wasn't immediately needed or used, was the ship's bell.
Oh, the social hall was also used on Friday nights when the Elders would hold a head count, or "survey", to insure no one had been dragged off into the woods by a roving band of wild turkeys. The social hall was also used on Friday nights, after their surveys, for entertainment, and they would form small acoustical bands (because electricity hadn't been discovered yet) and they would play a form of early up-beat progressive music, and it became known in their little settlement of Plymouth, as "Plymouth Rock". Perhaps you've heard of it?? Alas, I digress again. Back to the bell. The Pilgrims placed their ship's bell in a belfry on top of the social hall/dining facility and arranged with a local tribe of Native Americans to have a nosh/social mixer on a Friday night. Since dinnertime was usually after the sun had set, the poor Native Americans were afraid to travel through the woods, alone, on foot, at night, for fear of the terrible roving bands of killer turkeys. The Pilgrims arranged a way for them to traverse the section of woods most feared, and they would ring the bell repeatedly in order to scare off the wild turkeys and the Native Americans would be safe as they made their way toward Plymouth and an evening full of social frivolity. Well, this safety system worked every time and no one was ever eaten or dragged off during these times. And everyone was so thankful for their safety, the custom became known as "Thanksgiving". Since then, the smallest child in the holiday gathering has always been given the sacred honor of ringing the "Thanksgiving Bell", to call everyone to dinner safely and enjoy each other's company. Later on, it was discovered, by accident, that turkeys actually tasted good, and in order to save a lot of time and effort, the Pilgrims and Native Americans decided to just eat the damn birds. Then, the Native Americans introduced tobacco, but that story is for another time. I hope this clears up any misunderstanding you may have had regarding the ringing of the Thanksgiving Bell!! Enjoy your Thanksgiving rum and have a wonderful and bountiful holiday!!