'Rules for Bulldog Owners (suggested by their Bulldogs)

Submitted by RARett on December 16, 2011 - 2:12pm

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I saw this list, and took a little bit of creative liberty with it :) (changed 'Dogs to Bulldogs' of course)

Rules for Bulldog Owners (suggested by their Bulldogs)

I will not bathe my Bulldog after he bathes himself in the mud puddle.

I will not push my Bulldog away when she wants a hug after playing in a mud puddle.

I will not complain "My arm is tired" after only throwing the ball 20 times.

I will not confuse my Bulldog by throwing snowballs for him to fetch.

I will not ask my Bulldog to play fetch with a boomerang.

I will not drag my Bulldog away from the interesting sniffing spots.

I will drop whatever I'm doing and take my Bulldog out as soon as he asks me to.

I will not tell my Bulldog to hurry up already when he's looking for just the right spot to take care of business.

I will not stare while my Bulldog is doing his business.

I will not feed the cat before I feed my Bulldog.

I will get rid of that cat.

I will not bring home any more cats.

I will never eat until my Bulldog has tasted what I have and approved it for me.

I will share everything I eat with my Bulldog.

I will set up the kiddie pool every day it's hot - even in December.

I will not leave my Bulldog at home any time I go in the car.

I will allow my Bulldog on the couch.

I will protect my Bulldog from that obnoxious little human thing at all times.

I will not have another of those obnoxious little human things.

I will not hide my Bulldog's ball in a place where I know he couldn't possibly retrieve it from and then ask him to go get it.

I will not take shredded, soggy, yummy tennis balls away from my Bulldog.

I will not sneak around the backyard wearing funny clothes to test whether my Bulldog is a good watchBulldog.

I will stop referring to my Bulldog's necklace as her "collar."

I will not cut my Bulldog's nails.

I will not abandon my Bulldog for trivial reasons like "going to work".

I will not wake my Bulldog when I come home from work.

I will not come home from work and feel the sofa to see if it is still warm from where my Bulldog was sleeping "illegally".

Bad weather is no excuse for not walking my Bulldog.

I will open the back door as soon as my Bulldog sits by it.

I will not laugh at my Bulldog for being confused over not being able to find the lump of ice that he buried earlier.

I will not run out of treats.

I will always carry cookies and treats.

I will not make my Bulldog wear silly-looking antlers or red hats.

I will not make my Bulldog pose for pictures with some fat stranger in a red suit.

I will not tie leftover ribbons and bows all over my Bulldog.

I will not use decorations like tinsel that could be dangerous to my Bulldog.

I will try much harder to understand my Bulldog's language.