Bulldogs World

If you believe in love at first sight, what about blind people?

My brother in law is blind and considering the woman he married, I think love is blind, too.

Why are croutons packed in an air-tight package? Aren't they just stale bread?

So people in the supermarket won't lick them.

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Mutes don't have mothers. They aren't human.

If Donald Duck doesn't wear pants, why does he wrap a towel around his waist after a shower?

He's a duck. Why is he toweling off, anyway. Aren't those feathers waterproof?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Battery operated televisions.

Do fish ever get thirsty?

Do cats get catatonic? Do dogs engage in dogril?

If TV is bad for you, why is it in every hospital?

TV isn't bad for you. Who told you that.

Can you stick a sticker to a non-stick pan?

Not on the non-sticky part, you can't.

If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test?

You know the answer. It's testy. (Or, perhaps, testicular.)

Isn't it scary to know that what doctors do for a living is called "practice"?

Do Intern take their patients in turn?

If you got scared half-to-death twice, would you be dead?

Yes.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I don't. I pick them up at yard sales.

Why is it that someone going slower than you is an idiot, but someone going faster than you is a maniac?

Whatever. Just get out of my way.

Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?

Not anymore.

If a guy rapes a prostitute, should he also be charged with shoplifting?

Ooooo. Bad one.

If Hooters delivered, shouldn't it be called "Knockers"?

But, thankfully, they don't deliver. They'd really have to be called 'Ringers.'

And just so you don't think I'm on drugs....................

If I'm happy and I know it and my face will surely show it, why do I have to clap my hands?

To get everyone's attention so they'll notice your crazy, grinning face.

OK, since I know you were really wanting answers to these life defining questions I did manage to drum up a couple for you.  GOOD to see you back!

If you believe in love at first sight, what about blind people? Love at first touch....whoooaaa!

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? Thats just wrong!

If Donald Duck doesn't wear pants, why does he wrap a towel around his waist after a shower? Cuz his feathers are wet!  When they are dry and fluffy they hide his 'Donaldness'

Do fish ever get thirsty? Exactly! So why did my grandma tell me I drank like a fish when I was 19? 

If TV is bad for you, why is it in every hospital? Job security for the hospital

If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? Well then it would be a tes...........OH MAN, almost got me.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? I dont think she is all that popular,  look how many times her head has been popped off!

Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers? Yes, just no wet feathered ducks, or thirsty fish


If I'm happy and I know it and my face will surely show it, why do I have to clap my hands? So you can look 100% spastic, if your going to do something, do it all the way.

If you believe in love at first sight, what about blind people? If they "see" with their hands would it be love at first touch?

Why are croutons packed in an air-tight package? Aren't they just stale bread? Humidity

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? Absolutely!!

If Donald Duck doesn't wear pants, why does he wrap a towel around his waist after a shower? Down shrinks when it's wet?

Why do they report power outages on TV? slow news days?

Do fish ever get thirsty? As thirsty as dolphin.

If TV is bad for you, why is it in every hospital? tto keep you in longer

Can you stick a sticker to a non-stick pan? Of course! How does a non-stick surface stick to the pan?

If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? A pain in the ass (disenfranchised teacher here)

Isn't it scary to know that what doctors do for a living is called "practice"? Yup, lawyers too!

If you got scared half-to-death twice, would you be dead? How would you know if you were scared-to-death?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Because being plastic isn't all that fantastic

Why is it that someone going slower than you is an idiot, but someone going faster than you is a maniac? I consider both to be idiots!

Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers? Only vegan ones

If a guy rapes a prostitute, should he also be charged with shoplifting? Theft of services?

If Hooters delivered, shouldn't it be called "Knockers"? Young Frankenstein thought so

And just so you don't think I'm on drugs....................

If I'm happy and I know it and my face will surely show it, why do I have to clap my hands? So the blind people know...;)

G'morning :) busy weekend, but I read the survey and had to chuckle again, my brain isnt fulling functonal yet this morning for any witty replies ;)