Bulldogs World

Here are some suggestions, not too late, for the upcoming season:

Send ugly Christmas cards. Hey, most of these people aren't in contact with you all year except maybe on FB. All they send you in email is "Fwd" stuff and FINALLY, you get a card? Ohhhh, how thoughtful. Go out and find an old black and white picture of some falling down shack in the woods, or people freezing, and send that. Maybe they'll get the "message".

Create your own fun; take all the "to" and "from" tags off all the presents under the tree, and when the presents are opened, you can enjoy everyone trying to figure out who gets what. Think of all the laughs and frivolity that will occur. And be sure to have your camera ready to record all those funny expressions, both facial and verbal!!!

Put all the old sentimental, traditional tree ornaments on the top part of the tree. Put all the cheap, glitzy crappy ones toward the bottom, so all the little kids can reach them and break them. Hey, you won't care! And somebody else will have to clean up the mess!

Pine needles are an extremely good source of Vitamin C. Did you know that? Well, it's true and now, you do. So, use pine needles as a sort of condiment (like mustard or ketchup or whatever) and sprinkle lots of them all over your Christmas dinner plate and enjoy the benefits of Mother Nature and St. Nick all at the same time. If you have an artificial tree, needles are available, usually free of charge, at the nearest Christmas tree lot. Just ask one of Santa's helpers that work there and get a whole bucket full!

And, as always, I suggest you keep a large store of rum available at all times. Just have a holiday snort or two (or more) and everything becomes really funny. See? You too can create your own holiday good spirits and laugh at the world through my new invention; RUM GOGGLES! Hey, I'll have more helpful info and interesting crap for you in the near future. So, Happy Holidays! I mean it! I'm serious.