early morning ramblings
Submitted by Redflame on November 6, 2011 - 10:35amOK, its 6am on a Sunday morning and I am fighting some kind of bug. So please forgive me, but I am going to be a little transparent here. Although Kippah is just 4 months old I love her to pieces. And as each day goes buy I love her even more. As I read about our friends here losing their babies it just breaks my heart, and I cannot help but think about being in those same shoes. I don't want to wear those shoes, I fear wearing those shoes.
I am catching myself wanting to distance myself from Kippah, as if I didnt bring her up on the bed last night then I wouldnt love her as much......does that make sense? Part of me, a dysfunctional part, wants to protect my heart from loss. I have had alot of loss in my life, my mother when I was 11, my father when I was 33, two babies in utero. Sure I have lost pets too but it never was a huge struggle to get over. But just the thought of losing this baby girl frightens me. How is it that bulldogs are so different?
Now will I distance myself myself from Kippah? No way. Should people not post about their grief? Thats not my point either. We are a community and we are here for the good and the bad,,,,,,,,,,,that's why I feel comfortable enough to post the warped stuff that goes on in my head.
Loves and Smooches, Kippa and Mama (Annette)
I too hate that thought.
Sometimes I wish I wouldn't have to face it, but I know eventually one day I will have to. I just pray that God will give my Fatboy a long happy life with us. And also that when it's his time to go, it will be painless for him and that He will prepare our hearts for when that day comes.
Bullies are special...and I wish I knew what it was that makes them so :) They are just all around awesome.
Fatboy aka Stinky :)
I have that fear of loss
I have that fear of loss too. Even though Hazel's only been with me for 10 months next week, she is the only being other than my parents that I have loved unconditionally. It took me years to come to the thought of putting my heart out there for just the reason of dreading the loss. I pray for a full long life for the rest of her life, hoping that her previous life didin't effect her life expectancy! I never understood pet parents before this little Nut wormed into my life. I am forever grateful for the circumstances that led me to her and look forward to many years of joy.
I think that you...
have eloquently expressed the fears and concerns of anyone who has ever loved a bulldog or any pet for that matter. To know the unconditional love of animals is a precious gift and when it is gone we are always heartbroken. So I guess the blessing is to love, nurture and be there for our pets, as they are for us, while they are with us for however long that may be.
Kinda natural
Kinda natural at first. But I'd say ya get over it a little and the thought doesn't come around too [as] often.
I tell everyone this in the fall, so bear with me, but I have SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder, where I react to the light cycles as the days grow shorter.
I use a incandesant grow light buld in my desk lamp for a couple hours in the mornings. And get all the sun I can on a day like this.
This is Buddy, He is making hay while the sun shines..........
Mean people still suck
Completely understand
There has been lots of loss/heartbreaks/disappointments in my life as well. I finally understand that life can't be even keel or it doesn't serve its purpose. I don't think I could ever appreciate how good things are without experiencing how bad they can be too. So with love, we never truly can appreciate how precious it is unless we know it can be lost in a moment. I worry about something happening to my daughters to the point where I've had to stop watching the news. I'm learning too that I'd rather spend my moments with my loved ones being happy, rather than worrying about the what ifs. Most of the time, the "what ifs" never came and when they did, they were dealt with. Plus, I pray alot and it helps. I have an amazing story about how a prayer was answered but I'm not sure if this is the place to share it.
Nakina
Tis better to have loved and lost... Than never to have loved...
An old quote - that still rings true
From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
---------
Personally -
Live for today - do not worry too much about tomorrow - for worrying is paying interest, on a debt that may never come due
Last steps taken May 26, 2014 -- Been rolling along ever since . . . .
I have that fear also
yes I think we should be able to talk about this. we need each other. that is why we are family here. i have a hard just leaving her each day to go to work i don't do anything on my time off but go buy food. if loulou can't go. but when she goes to the bridge i am not going to give her up even then. i am making tons of video and the pictures are end less. i can draw so i have made oil painting of her. when she goes to the bridge i am still bringing her home. i am going to have her stuff, place in a glass box . my family thinks I am crazy. not really game hunter does if over a kill. Then why not something to you love with all your heart and soul. she is my heart dog. i know now i will have other bullies but not another Loulou. keep her safe and close to you
Karonelaine