(reposted from a bulldog yahoo group)
New Human Disease...Latest Alert from Cornell University

We have identified a new disease, probably caused by a virus among
dog-owning people. It apparently has been in existence for a considerable
time, but only recently has anyone identified this disease and begun to
study it. We call it Acquired Canine Obsessive Syndrome (ACOS).

At first, ACOS was considered to by psychological in nature, but after two
young researchers here suddenly decided to become show breeders, we realized
that we are dealing with an infectious agent. Epidemiologists have
identified three stages of this disease and typical symptoms, listed below:


Stage 1 - You have early symptoms if:

You think that any show within 300 miles is nearby

* You begin to enjoy getting up at 5 AM to walk and feed dogs
* It is fun for you to spend several hours a day grooming dogs
* You think you're being frugal if you spend less that $3,000 a year
on shows
* You can't remember what it was like to have just one dog


Stage 2 - You definitely have the disease if:

Your most important factor when buying a car is how many crates you can fit
in it

* When looking for a new home, the first thing you consider is how
many dogs you can kennel on the property
* Your dog food bill is higher than your family's grocery bill
* You spend as much on veterinarians as you do on doctors
* You have no money because of showing dogs
* You have to buy more than one vehicle a year, because you keep
burning out the 7-year or 70,000 mile warranty going to shows
* You have more pictures of your dogs than of your family
* Your idea of a fun vacation is to hit the show circuit
* Most of your conversations revolve around dogs


Stage 3 - You have a terminal case if:

You wake up in the morning to find out that you put the kids in the crates
and the dogs in the beds last night

* You know each dog's name and pedigree, but can't figure out who that
stranger in the house is; it turns out to be your spouse
* Your neighbors keep insisting that those kids running around your
house bothering the dogs are yours
* You keep telling the kids to "heel" and can't understand why they
won't, and why they keep objecting to the choke chain
* You cash in the kid's college trust fund to campaign the dogs
* You've been on the road showing dogs so long you can't remember
where you live
* Your family tells you "It's either the dogs or us;" you choose the
dogs


Do you have this dreaded disease?

Well, there is hope. In the course of
our research, we have found that most cases seem to stop at Stage 2, and
remain chronic. We have, with great difficulty, managed to acquire several
Stage 3 ACOS patients. They are currently in our isolation wards, where we
are studying them to gain a better understanding of this disease. It is a
sad sight, seeing these formerly vibrant people as they shuffle around their
rooms in endless triangle or L-patterns, making odd hand motions as if
holding a lead and baiting a dog, and making chirping noises. Merely saying
the word "Westminster" can send them into an uncontrollable frenzy.

Unfortunately, there isn't much hope for these cases, but with time and
research to further understand this disease; we hope to come up with a cure.
We are now attempting to isolate the causative agent and may be able to
develop a vaccine in the future. An interesting sidelight of this disease
seems to be that exposure at an early age has an immunizing effect. Several
people afflicted with ACOS at Stage 1 and Stage 2 have close family members
(children/spouses) who have absolutely no disease. It is thought by some of
our researchers that this may be due to environmental effects, to an
age-related immune function, or to the fact that those with the disease tend
not to associate with their close family members, possibly due to the memory
deficit induced by the disease - that is, they don't remember they have
close family members!


What can you do to prevent this disease?

Until a cure is found, prevention is the best measure. Avoid kennels
advertising "show stock," since it may be the dogs that are the carriers of
the disease. Leave town when there is a local show. If you inadvertently
come into contact with an ACOS-afflicted person, leave as soon as possible
(they do tend to cling) and thoroughly shower, preferably with a germicidal
soap. If you are living with an ACOS sufferer, take comfort that if you
haven't succumbed yet, you are probably safe.