Bulldogs World

Hi All,

    Recently we lost our Buddy Luke. In the days following I found myself typing my thoughts as a way to help mourn. At first I simply thought it would be a note I never shared. Since then, I continue to find myself going back and re-reading, editing, and adding to it. Now I somehow feel by not sharing it is unjust to him. So I'd like to share here as a tribute to the Buddy Luke.
 

Buddy Luke:

Lock it up, Lock it up!

3/20/03 – 9/9/11

Life before

When Yolanda and I began dating, my family had 3 dogs – 1 Boston Terrier (Tisha) and 2 Bulldogs (Dudley and Sadie). The first time she came to my parent’s house she was so afraid that we had to put all the dogs in the kitchen and close the door. On one side of the door were 3 dogs growling, barking and pawing at the door who merely wanted to greet the guest with excitement. While on the other side was a girl who heard 3 ferocious dogs that were growling, barking and scratching at the door dead set on attacking her.

A few years later when she moved in with Mark and I she had already adjusted to the family dogs and no longer required that we put the dogs up when she was around, but Mark and I would get a thrill out of riling Dud telling him to “sic’ her”. She’d get so afraid of his bark she’d leave the room pleading Mark to stop even though it was all play. I don’t remember how it came to be, but after some time we started looking for a dog of our own. After living with Dud I knew it had to be another bulldog. We started surfing the net looking at bulldog puppies thinking we’d research about them and after sometime we’d be ready. It didn’t take long before we came across a website with a pic of a white pot-bellied puppy with a fawn patch on his left eye and base of his back. Yolanda knew it was the one immediately and stopped looking. I too loved the pic but was hesitant, not knowing where he was located telling her “we don’t even know where he’s at.” After some research we found he was in the northeast part of Alabama. By this time I knew it didn’t matter anyway. Yolanda’s mind was set; we were going to get a ‘Bama bulldog. We counted up our savings and looked into how much a rental car would cost. We had just enough for rental, gas, and a new puppy. For some reason, Yolanda could not go on the trip that weekend. So I planned to drive alone but somehow, my parents ended up going along. We left on a Friday afternoon made it half way and stopped to rest the night at a motel. I hadn’t considered travel plans other than get a car and drive so thankfully my parents tagged along with me otherwise I’d been sleeping in the car cause there was no budget for a motel room. We got to Alabama sometime Saturday afternoon. When we went in to see the new pup the gentleman had bathed him and had him ready and waiting to play. As we walked into the living room, the puppy ran under the couch to hide. I picked up the skirt, peeked in and pulled him out holding him in my arms and petting his small head. Once in the car heading back I called Yolanda telling her we got him and were coming home. During that phone call we decided his name would be Sir Luca Doofus (or Luca for short).

The early years

                When we got back to the apartment Yolanda was there waiting to meet Luca for the first time. I had already bought a collar and leash and was waiting in the grassy area while Bo, Mark and Dudley came down to meet us. Everyone was excited including Dud. He went up to the puppy to smell him and Luca got scared having never seen such a big bulldog. When we got upstairs into the apartment, Yolanda had already bought him a bed and a few toys. I was used to having dogs sleep in the bed with me, but Yolanda was adamant that we would not have a dog sleeping in our bed. That night we had him in a crate near the bed and once the lights were out and we were going to sleep he started yelping. Yolanda couldn’t stand it and said she just wanted to cuddle with him till he wasn’t scared anymore. She broke the first night and Luke instantly became a spoiled dog who slept in our bed. As he grew into the 65lbs it became apparent, he was letting US sleep in HIS bed. He would start out comfortably under the covers at the foot of the bed, through the night he would change positions and end up at the head of the bed on our pillow leaving us 1 pillow to share. Or he’d end up on top of the covers at the foot after he rearranged the covers to his liking and left us struggling to pull a small piece of sheet to cover with. Other times he’d get between us and stretch his legs out as much as he could leaving Yolanda and I barely hanging on to the edges of the bed. After we adapted to his various sleeping styles, I learned to get him to lie to my side resting his head on my shoulder while I held him.

We would spend our weekends at PetsMart letting him pick out a new toy or choosing a new spiked collar or doggy clothes. After a while we had bought most all the doggy clothes sold at pet stores so we started shopping for him in the baby aisle at Wal-Mart and online. He had pajama’s, collared shirts, hooded sweat shirts, sweaters, a wool jacket, sleeveless t-shirts, a longhorns jersey, Santa’s hat, a x-mas collar, a birthday shirt, sunglasses, a life jacket and more. His toys included plush animals, the green frog, a black gorilla, a pink pig (which I think he stole from Jasmine) a stuffed Elmo doll, endless rubber chew toys, plastic logs, real wooden logs, a couple of 7ft x-mas trees, rubber balls, a basketball, a football, and several tug-of-war ropes. We ended up buying a full size toy chest to hold all his stuff.

We tried to teach him tug-of-war like all the other family dogs, but he would never learn to pull from the opposite end. We’d start him out on opposite side but he continued to re-grip until his teeth were side by side with your hand. He’d do this with Dudley and Tisha the same. Eventually we’d have to pick the rope up cause it was covered in drool. He learned to carry the football by the laces and he tore the basketball enough so the leather was peeling back allowing him to sink his teeth in to carry the basketball even though it was twice his size at first.

At our 1st apartment, there was a large drainage hill were we’d take him out to play and roll the ball down the hill for him to chase. At first the ball was so big that when he’d catch it he’d just flip off and the ball would continue to roll. When got bigger he’d catch it but his momentum would keep him going down the hill that he’d just run over it with the ball passing between his legs.

After each Christmas, we’d take down the tree and store it in the backyard while waiting for tree truck on pickup day. Luke would dive into the middle of the tree grab the trunk and shake it as hard as he could or grab it by a lower limb and drag it all around the yard. By the time the tree truck came we had a bare tree and pine needles all over the back yard.

                We learned early that while he had a mean appearance he was quick to tuck and run. One night during a thunderstorm, Mark, Yolanda, Dudley, Luke and I were watching TV. Lightning struck and the power went out. Luke hadn’t been in a thunderstorm before and didn’t know what happened; his reaction was to jump into the closest lap he could and that was Mark’s.

When we built the deck in Cedar Creek, a plastic bag got a way and the wind blew it into the fence. Luca saw it and chased the bag to the fence. The wind changed direction just as he got there and bag began floating back toward Luke. He stopped in his tracks and was back on the deck before he turned back and started barking at the bag from a distance.

Luca had a disliking for brooms. It comes from a visit to Cedar Creek when Dad was using an outdoor broom to sweep the deck off. When Luke saw him sweeping he started biting at the bristles. Dad would get a kick outta that and it would become a reoccurring stand-off when Luke, Dad and the broom got together. From then on, every time Luke would see the broom in Cedar Creek he’d get into a fight with it. Luke would pull the broom out of the corner by its bristles but when the handle would fall from the wall and slap the ground next to Luca he’d run in fright.

Again at Cedar Creek, he’d often roam around the woods sniffing the leaves/grass in front of him. One time there was a neighbor dog that was roaming up the drive way. The dog was a puppy himself but a larger breed and was similarly unaware of Luca heading in his direction. When the two of them finally met it spooked the both of them. Luca tucked and ran until he got back to the porch where he turned to bark. He then realized the other dog had tucked and ran too, so Luca had the instant courage to chase the other dog back down the drive way till the other dog was gone.

Luke loved water. Whether it was a simple bath, water hose, kiddie pool, the river or the beach he would play non-stop. We bought him a life jacket which proved useful on our first trip to the beach with him. When he saw the waves he ran into the water trying to bite the waves. I thought he’d stop when the waves started hitting him in the face. That only made him madder and went deeper. I ended up having to grab him by the life jacket and float him back to shore. On that same trip, I’m not sure if it was the salt water or the 4 hour ride but he got crazy sick. Yolanda and I were down at the beach and Mark was gonna take the dogs out to potty. After 1 flight of stairs Luke had the runs and couldn’t hold it anymore. It dripped from flight to flight. When Mark got down to the beach and saw that we were all fun and games he got pissed and said “your dog has sideways diarrhea” and you need to go clean it all the way up the stairwell.

One of the funniest things Luke did from a puppy till the day he died, was when he would fart it would scare him not knowing what had happened and he’d jump up and chase his butt as if something had gotten him. The first few times we saw him do this we didn’t realize what he was doing and we thought it might be fleas. After a while, we started putting two and two together. I’d never seen a dog so scared that his own farts spooked him.

How he changed us

                Yolanda was the most changed by Luca. Before Luke, she was afraid of bulldogs (or dogs in general). She would never think of sticking her hand in a dog’s mouth to get an object out but that’s exactly what she did with Luke would get something he shouldn’t. Any time a dog would growl at her she thought it meant harm, but with Luke she learned sometimes a growl can be playful and other times merely a bluff. She took him to the vet for his eye surgery and stayed with him after. She kept him company while I traveled for work.

                Luke taught us to be ready for parenthood. While potty training him we had 3 flights of stairs and quickly learned he could not hold it that long in the middle of the night and we had to adjust. We began letting him go in the bath tub during the night and outside during the day. We learned that as parents you spend any amount of money for a new toy or clothes. On the outside you say “it’s to make the child/dog happy” but in reality it gives you just as much joy to see them playing with the new toy.

Introducing the kids

                When we were pregnant with Bruce we realized that things would be changing for Luke and were sure to spend quality time with him leading up to the birth hoping that he’d adjust well to a new baby in the house. We were sure to consider how Luke would accept the new baby so we introduced the baby slowly. Luke stayed with Mark while we were at the hospital. Once it was time to bring Bruce home we were sure to have everything quiet and ready when we called for Mark to bring Luke to meet Bruce for the first time. Yolanda had Bruce on the couch and I walked Luke up to the new baby. Luke looked at him with strange look then got closer to take a gentle sniff of the baby. When Bruce would make a noise, Luca would tilt his head while looking at Bruce trying to understand what was going on. He never got overly excited or showed any ill feeling toward Bruce. During the first few weeks I’d take Bruce out and put him on floor in his room and Luke and I would lie on the floor just looking at the new baby.

While we were sure to transition, things did change for Luca. He no longer slept in the bed with us. He got the boot when Yolanda started getting up in middle of night to pee. After birth, sleeping arrangements stayed the same; Luke in his bed and Yolanda and I in our bed.

Luke quickly learned that while he was 10 times Bruce size, the baby out ranked him in the household. Occasionally, we’d walk in the room to see a 6 month old cornering a 65lb bulldog. Bruce just wanted to play with the puppy and Luca just wanted the baby to leave him alone. With time they both learned to love each other. Bruce learned to enjoy Luke’s company and Luke learned to tolerate the poking, pulling, slapping love that Bruce would give him. By the time Waylon came along, Luke was well adjusted to what it was like with Bruce that a 2nd kiddo was no different. He accepted that he was now 5th in rank. Being that Luke was already tamed to small children, Waylon got away with a lot more. He constantly stepped on, sat on, poked, prodded, and pulled Luca. Most of the time Luca would just sleep through it all, occasionally, he’d wake and growl or snap in Waylon’s direction to let him (and us) know it was enough, but he never touched either of them.

                With kids crawling around he no longer had his dog bed out with toys scattered around. Now his bed was in our room, his toys in a toy chest and his food and water bowls were picked up except at dinner time.

                We no longer spent our weekends at PetsMart or shopped for bulldog clothes online. Our weekends were now filled with babies 1st pictures, sports, holidays. Often times we’d go to events or parties for the kids and leave Luke behind. He never really got use to the fact that he didn’t get to go anymore. At first when we’d open the garage, he’d run out as if he was gonna get in the car and go along with us. Eventually his excitement lessened and he’d no longer run out, but rather stand by the door as if asking if he’d get to go. In time, he learned that “lock it up, lock it up!” meant that we were leaving and that was his signal to go into the hall so we could lock the baby gate.

                Even with change he’d continue to love and play with the entire family. During bar-b-cues or get-togethers in the back he’d always chase whatever the object of play was horseshoes, soccer balls, throw toys, the wheels of Bruce’s Jeep and occasionally he’d make him a toy out of toys the kids left lying around. We’d go out the back to see him lying in the middle of the yard tearing up a foam baseball bat or golf ball. He was always up to play.

                When the kids got older I’d play wrestle with them in their room body slamming them or put them in head locks. Luca would see this and join in. I’d do the same with him putting him on his back while he was snapping and clawing at me trying to get way. Once up, he’d chew on my arm or if I had hidden his ball he’d try to nudge his way in with his head to get in closer to get the ball. Even though he played rough with me, when the kids came near he always eased up.

Regrets

With all the good memories also come a few we wish we could take back.

I use to get frustrated with Luke when he’d be at the outside of the door while I was at work and would bark/growl to be let in. Today is the 1st day back at work and it’s the 1st thing that came to mind when I sat down. I’m sorry I would get upset with you. You just wanted to be with me.

In the early days, I remember how you liked to take baths (at first, in the bath tub then later in a kiddie pool). We’d buy special doggie-poo and colognes for you. In the past few years I didn’t groom you as frequent as I should have. I remember yelling from the other room when I’d find you scratching your back under the bed when a simple bath would have done the trick. Just this past month I’ve been thinking “man it’s been a while since I bathed Luke”. I badly wish I had just done it one last time.

Later in life, I noticed your temperament changed around us as compared to when company came. With 2 small children your play habits of jumping and pawing when visitors come couldn’t be something we allowed daily, but I would see the playfulness you had when others came to visit. I can’t remember the last time I actually hugged, petted or played with you. That is what makes me hurt the most. I am sorry I didn’t spend more time with you.

Early on we let you on sit in our laps, and lick us when we played. Later we didn’t want your hair on the furniture so we forced you to lie on the floor. Today I wish I had you here in my lap.

These are the things we truly regret but they do not mean we loved you any less. Today is a very tough day for us. We miss the sound of your toenails on the hard surface, the jingling of your collar when you walk, the loud slurping sound when you drank and the constant snore of your sleep.

Now even a month after you’ve left, we still find the simplest routines that remind us of you. We leave through the garage door, even though the front door is now a more convenient route not having a baby gate in the way. When playing the Wii, we see your character with your pet status still recorded. A part of us, knows these things are no longer needed but they are routines we are not ready to let go.

Goodbye

We will always remember the good memories and hope the bad will fade with time. Today, we feel sad that when we reflect back on the past few years, our lives were different than when they were when you first entered. We want you to know while we are regretful of this. It was because of you that we were able to become the loving parents of two young boys and our love for you will not leave.  

Luca had many names – Sir Luca Doofus, Luca, Luke, Luckenbach, Lukie Buke, Juka, Dog (as Bruce first learned to call him), or “No” (as Waylon learned to call him) but the name I most remember calling him was “Buddy Luke”. Luke, you are greatly missed and will never be forgotten.

 Bye Buddy Luke!
 

Heeling

                In the days immediately following, we spent our time hunting down all the photos we had and enjoyed the memories they brought back. The 1st batch we found were more recent ones in our home and we looked through them many times each often talking about the same photo numerous times. I knew there were more from the earlier apartment days but couldn’t find them. I dug up an old box which had CD backups dated back in 2004. There were probably 10 discs with 1000s of files each but we went through each disc and found more and more photos that brought us joy. In time though, after we went through the 100s of Luca photos we had, we realized there would be no new photos to recall.  This realization hurt because for a couple weeks we were able to distract ourselves with memories and photos of him. Now having gone through everything we had, there was nothing left to do. Another round of sadness set in.

                After a few days, we began filling the void by looking at pup pictures online. Yolanda was adamant that when we were eventually ready, our next dog would be smaller in size. She found herself looking at French Bulldogs, while I was drawn to Basset Hounds. We’d look at pup after pup and would smile and show one another the various pups, but neither of us would agree on the findings of the other. Yolanda was not fond of the Basset’s long body. She liked their droopy face and expressions with the long ears but the long body and the fact they would grow into 50lb dogs wasn’t something she agreed with. For me, the French were nice but the perked ears and small body made for a strange semi-bulldog appearance but it wasn’t the same. If we were going for bulldog, then go bulldog. We probably spend 2 weeks off/on looking at pics, researching breeds, taking “breed selector quizzes” to find the ‘perfect breed’.

During the weeks since Luca passed Bruce would occasionally make reference to Luca or the fact we no longer had a dog saying things like “When we get another dog his name is gonna be Ice Cube” or “Can the next dog we get be a girl since Presley is a boy, they can be friends”. Other times when we’d watch the Tom and Jerry cartoon, Bruce and I always used to joke that the boys of the house were Tom and Mom was the only Jerry. He’d say “Me and Dad and Waylon and Luca are all Tom and mom is the Jerry”. After Luca passed he’d still include Luca as a Tom. While he was not affected to the same degree Yolanda and I were, the fact that he still was referring to Luca several weeks later showed how large an impact it had on him. Yolanda and I realized that if not for us, we wanted to get another dog soon for Bruce.

After a while I concluded that we were not gonna agree on a breed and I told Yolanda that I was pretty sure the next dog we get I want to be another bulldog. She immediately disagreed and emotions started flowing. Her reaction was based on Luca’s loss much more than the reality of another dog, whatever the breed. We talked about it and I explained my reasoning.

I don’t see us agreeing on either breed and while I’m sure there are breeds out there that match our lifestyle, there are things we don’t know about them. Bassets have the same lazy couch potato style but they are hounds. So the possibility of a constant ‘howl’ may not be something we are used to or prepared for. French’s are much like Bulldogs but more lap dogs. While we want a lap dog to be able to love on, a clingy dog may be too much. Having had 3 bulldogs in the family all with different personalities, we know exactly what we’d be getting into. Additionally, while we’ve been looking at pups I’ve not seen either of us have the same reaction to any pup that we had the 1st time we saw Luca.

At the end of that conversation, Yolanda had eased up on the immediate emotional “No” and was more open. We didn’t push the subject any further but she seemed to understand at least the same points.

Over the next several days, I’d look at bulldog pup pics and would select a few to show Yolanda. One night I got an email back from a breeder that said she had some pics on Facebook we could see. When I looked I immediately was interested in their color markings and their parents were good looking too. When I showed Yolanda, she had the same love at 1st sight feeling she had when we found Luca the 1st time. Till this point her mood was a day-to-day. On days we have constant activity she’d emotionally be ok, until night time when everything would wind down. On days when our schedule was lite, she’d have a lot of sad times spent cuddled on the couch. The night she saw the bulldog pups, her energy shifted. She wanted to call the breeder that night and ask if the pup was available. We did and found that he was already taken, but the breeder said she had 2 more from the same litter very similar and sent pics. Yolanda saw one, and her heart sank looking at me and asked “can we get him”. I knew at that point we were on our way to another Bulldog. That night, she was unable to sleep. This time it was not about the grief of Luca but the anxiousness of wait and see. Several days of messaging back and forth with questions and what not and Yolanda finally told me enough “stop telling me updates unless we are getting him”.

Once it was agreed on, she began looking at names and had a list going. A few on the list were “Cowboy”, “Linus”, “Lloyd” and “Bean”. I laughed at Bean and said I like that. After a couple hours of joking back and forth on the name we realized that “Sir Pinto Bean” was a fitting name. It had many possibilities for nicknames just as Luca had.

Yolanda drove to Brenham on a Tuesday afternoon to pick Pinto up. Bruce and I stayed back at the house and waited for the surprise. She called just before she arrived in Brenham to pick up the new pup and I could hear the emotion in her voice. She was torn by the fact that we were so close to having another dog and it bothered her that it felt like we were replacing Luca. We talked for a while and she got better. She knew it was a good thing for everyone involved but it still hurt to think about this as a step toward moving on.

Today, marks a week since Bean came into our home. The family mood has been in significantly higher spirits, with more laughter. There are times we see Bean and strong memories of Luca come back that even the pictures didn’t trigger for us. Like the bulldog play stance, front paws and head down low while back leg and butt are in the air as if he is ready to pounce on anything that moves; His constant curiosity to check everything out at his own pace; The reminder that when Luca was a pup we had 3 flights of stairs when potty training. Now when we go to Petco we see many reminders of Luke. I will not be grabbing a 30lb bag of dog food for quite some time. For years Luca ate the same brand. For some reason when I think about buying a different brand of food for Bean it triggers strong emotion for me. Yolanda continues to have emotional moments occasionally too but without a doubt, Bean has been a tremendous help in heeling our hearts. We take comfort in knowing that while Bean is a step toward moving forward, by having these strong emotions and reminders of Luca the good memories will remain with us forever.