Worst fear came true :( need help

One of my worse fears came to life.. We just moved into our dream house and its me my wife, isaac my 8th month old and Lola my 6.5 year bully.  I am not sure everyone is up to speed on this board as I have not posted in some time but Lola ..was a concern as she is very attached to my wife and she hasnt had to share attention. I did all the things right.. training, got her used to toys, sounds etc.. we were so careful about introducing them.. lola at our old house would comeup to isaac when we got home and give him kisses.. we never left them on the ground together or unsuperised.. when isaac started to crawl there were a few occasions where he would charge lola and she would let out a low growl.. we didnt punish her we took her alert and removed isaac.. we move last tuesday and it was hectic for all of us.. that night my wife let her guard down and isaac crawled toward lola.. my wife turned and noticed lola did not want him near her.. she turn and right as my wife went to pick up isaac she bite him in the face.. i was outside and i will never forget the sight of seeing my wife running out with our son we rushed him to ER. he had stitched in his eyebrow and on his cheek and two puncher wounds.. they midley sedated him and hes on the road to recovery.. hopefully his scars will fade.. he wasnt bothered by it at all and was laughing in the er room.. so on to the big issue.. I wasnt there so I cant say if it was prevoked but we are trying to figure out how to handle this.. we know how hard Lola is to take care of.. shes scared of vacums, loud noises, had three knee surgieries and is extremely attached.. she never eats when others watch her and I just struggle to think there is a home out there with no kids or other dogs that will take her in.. we can adjust life and keep them completly isolated from one another.. we would give lola as much attnetion as we could be she would be in another room when isaac is playing.. please advise and please do not respond back with mean hurtfull things.. I am trying to do the responsible thing, I know I could have just put her down but Lola has alot of life left and outside of my child and wife there isnothing I wouldnt do to ensure she lives the best life..  thanks for your time

Carol and Kofi's picture

Hopefully Lynn King or one of the others

knowledgable in bulldog behaviour will chime in soon. 

It sounds like it has been a very stressful time for you all. I wish I could give some proper advice, but all I can really offer is my heartfelt sympathy. I just believe someone will have a solution that will benefit you all.

I'll be watching for the problem solving advice soon to come.

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Kofi and Carol

 

I can hear the pain in your voice as you tell this story..

Of course you are upset. You have the welfare and safety of your child and wife as well as the well being of your belived bully to sort through. Not an easy task for anyone. I do not have suggestions for you as I have not experienced your difficulties. I hope you are able to get the advice and support which will allow you to make the best decisions possible in this situation. Keep in touch and know that we are all here to listen.

Re

Thanks for your kind words and thoughts.. Have to add my wife is due with baby number 2 in March which is a blessing but adds to the concerns..

Deb and MacKenzie and Ester's picture

Contact A Bulldog Rescue

in your area. Check the BCA site. I'm sure there are homes they can find without children.

I tried river city rescue waiting to hear back

Nm

Oh dear,

Well, I hate to state the obvious but management always fails.

Let's start with the dog. From the world of dog, Lola tried. She has been giving warnings that she is uncomfortable around the baby. Can't ask for more then that. She showed a good level of bite inhibition. Bite inhibition is the degree of contact or injury. It's rated from level 1 to a level 5. Without getting into a whole essay on bites, Lola's bite was yet another warning. She could have done substantially greater injury but chose not to. Truthfully, a lot of dogs do not like children, to a dog, children are very weird. Especially when they become mobile, they move weird, sound weird and for some dogs, it's more then they can figure out.

You can work with a trainer on teaching some desensitizing and counter conditioning to help Lola become a little less stressed about the children. Please work with someone that uses positive methods only.

Personally, I don't think that Lola is a candidate for re-homing. Most rescues won't take a dog with a bite history, regardless of the circumstances. Re-homing her on your own is very risky and I don't recommend it.

You can try managing the situation and keep them separated at all times, setting aside special time for Lola. I would install baby gates with child proof latches. It's something that can be done but as I said in my first sentence, management always fails.

I with all of you luck. I know how much you care for Lola and I know that you want the best for everyone.

Glad that Isaac wasn't seriously injured.

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Lynn King CPDT-KA

AmyandSophia's picture

I agree with what Lynn advised...

And would like to add one thing also.....please, I know Isaac is very young, but a child is never too young to learn what NO means, and that needs to start right now with your little one. He must learn, as Lola must, that there is a no go zone around each other.

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Amy and Sophia

Deb and MacKenzie and Ester's picture

So Lynn

Since you have pointed out that mgmt. always fails and that rescue will not take her, it sounds like you are recommending putting her down. So do you just give up that easy and not try every possible option?

And they have another baby on the way. If the situation is tense now its going to get a whole lot more tense with the new addition. I agree mgmt. is not going to work, especially after the 2nd baby.

She would adjust to a new family. We all know dogs do adjust and even though they don't think she can live without them we know differently. There are lots of people that don't have children, I can't believe there are not possible homes out there for her.

No, I am not recommending that he euthanize her

just pointing out that either decision will be difficult to accomplish. As I stated in my post below, dogs do adjust very well. Rescue might take her but from past experience with rescues/shelters, most have zero tolerance when it comes to dogs with any bite history. Liability is something that they have to consider. I personally don't think that an incident with a child should exclude placement.

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Lynn King CPDT-KA

Sigh

Thanks everyone for the responses Lynn when you say that she's not a candidate for rehoming what about a home that doesn't have children would a rescue solely look at if the dog will bite.. We moved into a very large house there is easily enough room to keep them separated and I am definitely willing to give Lola her own time but my wife thinks that's not a life for Lola I think she doesn't actually realize though how hard it is to rehome a dog that does a child. I am not sure if Lola would be happier somewhere else because she is so miserable when we're not home or when other people watch her I feel like the period of time in which I would spend with her would be better than sending  her somewhere else and she potentially being put to sleep. I also realize I'm thinking with my heart and not my head assuming that this dog would not adjust in another life she's almost 7 years old and I honestly never thought she would be alive without me with her

Can't speak for all rescue organizations

but many have zero tolerance for biting. You can give it a try but please, if you choose to re-home her, you must be completely truthful.

Whether you choose to keep her or re-home her, dogs adjust very well.

Best of luck

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Lynn King CPDT-KA

Katie and Tucker's picture

Just wanted to say....

..... that is VERY brave of you to share this with everyone. I'm not sure I would be brave enough to share something so upsetting with so many. I cannot imagine what you are going through and I wish you nothing but the best with whatever you decide.

Good luck and i'm sending warm wishes and hugs to ALL of you :)

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Katie & Tucker a.k.a "Porkchop"

Thanks

This site was so helpful when I got Lola 6 years ago and I know I can turn to it. I realize with advice and support may come some negativity.. I just want what's best for Lola and my family.. Thankfully everyone this far has been respectful.. 

Update**

River City Rescue responded and asked for more details. I was 100% honest with the situation. I am not going to hide anything but also not going to send Lola off to be put to sleep. I know there is someone out there that is like me and would give her the home she wants. I also think that alot of her agression is a result of her major attachement to my wife.. When she is out of the house away from my wife she is much better. What ever the result I am going to do everything to put her in a new home.. The whole in my heart will always be there for her.. I thought we would enjoy this life together as a big happy family..I treasure my boy, my wife and my baby on the way and thank god for their health and happienss but its hard not to be selfish and want my dog too..

I hope everything works out perfectly for all of you

Best of luck and keep us posted.

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Lynn King CPDT-KA

DaisyNYC's picture

Oh, I'm so sorry


I had my son play in a gated off room. I also had a safe place for him like a pack and play by the kitchen, etc., in case I couldn't keep my eyes on him and the dogs 100%. Now he is about the girls size and everyone seems better with each other but I still watch carefully, mostly because I worry my son will do something accidently to upset the dogs.

My dogs are also jittery, petrified of vacuums, motorcycles, almost anything on wheels and the list goes on and on. I wonder if that makes them react quicker.

Anyway, I'm so sorry, I know this must be a hugely difficult decision to make. I can't imagine having to ever give up one of the girls, but if my son was hurt I have no idea what I would do.

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Pegsy's picture

Indeed a most gut wrenching

Indeed a most gut wrenching decision...i personally

know all too well of your situation b/c my archie was

attached to me as well and one night attacked my dad-

he too needed seven stitches...as you can guess my

heart broke all over the place b/c a decision needed to 

be made...i brought in a trainer  to evaluate him and we

would've started right after. his surgery he wasn't neutered

Alashe didn't survive the surgery he passed in my arms 16

hrs later....Whatever you decide to do  I'm sure wil be 

w/your family + Lola's best interest...good luck and glad 

lil isaac is doing well